Perhaps you wouldn’t think a life-changing epiphany about commitment would come while watching Fuller House, a revival of the heartwarming sitcom from the 90’s, but it did.
No, it didn’t come from one of the “life lesson” moments at the end, violin music and hugs and all. It actually came from how delightfully horrible the show is. How despite the poor scriptwriting and unbelievable plot, the actors moved forward with commitment, and it actually made the jokes work.
As a former theater nerd, I did spend some time contemplating the power of commitment to a joke as DJ Tanner and Kimmy Gibbler recreated a dance scene from Dirty Dancing at a hip club in the heart of San Fransisco.
My mind then wandered to my recent time in the recording studio, recording a few songs for an EP. The producer gave me some very valuable feedback stating that my guitar playing lacked commitment. My insecurity about my guitar skills were showing through the recording, but when I switched gears and moved forward with confidence, fulling committing to each chord, I nailed it.
My mind continued to wander to other areas of my life that were not going the greatest until I truly committed. My relationships, my diet, my business, etc. They didn’t start to thrive and bring great joy until I took the plunge and committed.
But I definitely have my commitment fears, and I’ve gotten pretty good at “getting by.” And my 'getting by' ways have gotten me pretty far. Great for my commitment issues, bad for living life to the fullest.
Now the grander my life gets, the less my 'getting by' ways are working. And so lately, commitment as been on the mind more and more because I’m finding that the lack of it is really cramping my style.
So how does this whole tangent relate to self-care? Well, let me answer your question with a question. How committed are you to your self-care practice? Like seriously. Are you committed to it?
Commitment can disguise itself really well. But how to know if it is just a good intention in commitment clothing is if it is actually getting done. If you are showing up every day doing your non-negotiable and the like and seeing solid results.
There have definitely been times I’ve thought I was committed to something, like having Michelle Obama arms in time for my wedding. I thought about it a lot. Even pictured it in my mind. I was pretty sure it would be a thing, and it would be glorious.
But did I create a plan? Did I work on it every day? Absolutely not. Turns out I was just committed to thinking about it. And my arms were fine, granted there were more important things going on than worrying about my arms. But I got by, yet again.
So I invite you to really dig into commitment. Take a look at the role it plays in your life.
Can you identify areas in your life where you fully committed and areas where you are just getting by? Which areas are more fulfilling? What different feelings come up in each area?
This week, try on moving one thing from the “getting by” category into the “commitment” category. Start with the self-care area if you’d like. What has kept from fully committing? What would it look like to fully commit? How would this enrich your life if you committed?
And then have some sort of commitment ceremony. Write a letter and sign it. Share your commitment with someone that will hold you accountable. Do whatever resonates with you, but finalize your commitment with an actual act. It really does help make it real.
And then show up for yourself, or your partner, or your work. Heal your commitment hang-ups with little commitment victories.
I can tell you from experience that there really is power in commitment. That’s why we are so afraid of it. But we can use it for good and in all sorts of ways.
Commitment creates a clear space to cultivate your deepest desires. Don’t let the fear of it weigh you down.
Now go forth! Harness your inner Kimmy Gibbler and boogie on, dude.