EVERY HEALING JOURNEY BEGINS WITH AN UNEXPECTED TURN OF EVENTS. AND MINE IS NO DIFFERENT.
I grew up a very happy kid. Quirky, creative, adventurous, curious about everyone and everything. But I was always sensitive and felt things on a deep level. And in my teenage years, this sensitivity amplified and took over, leading to the fated diagnosis of “Clinical Depression” that would take over my worldview and how I defined myself.
At that time, there wasn’t the education there is now about mental illness and all of the factors that influence it. And there was no such thing as a “holistic approach.” In fact, how I got diagnosed was with my family doctor giving me a quick questionnaire and using that to confirm that I now had mental health issues.
I did what I was supposed to and went on medication, went to therapy, and processed all of my teen angst through being a weird theater kid and becoming a singer/songwriter. And I just did my best to move forward with my life accepting that I would always have a hard time “being happy,” and that this was just how I was.
Have you ever been resigned to your pain? Or let your diagnosis or injury define you?
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I did, too. For a long time. Until I finally started listening to that little wise voice inside of me that was ever so gently trying to guide me down a different path. A different approach that would actually teach me what my body really needed. And that everything I needed to heal was already within me.
Up until my early 20’s I was really good at getting by. I kept myself busy by wandering around the country working in National Parks and Ski Resorts, taking adventures overseas, and visiting friends in various cities. It was a blast, and I don’t regret it one bit, but I will admit that I was definitely trying to run away from myself because no matter where I went, my depression followed, and I couldn’t figure out why.
It wasn’t until I got my first panic attack, you know the scary, paralyzing ones that you think are never going to end, that it became clear to me that I couldn’t run away from this. And I had to take this part of me seriously and really accept it and explore it to heal with it if I wanted to live the life that I envisioned for myself.
So I took my adventurous spirit and applied it to my healing. I started getting into holistic forms of healing, practicing yoga, tending to my body pain, changing my diet, using the outdoors to soothe and invigorate me, and I tried all sorts of group therapy and life coaching methods.
I STOPPED QUESTIONING MY INNER WISDOM AND STARTED FOLLOWING IT. AND IT WAS LIFE-CHANGING.
So much so that I enrolled in Massage Therapy School and became a registered yoga teacher so I could learn more about the body, why these therapies were so effective, and how I could help others heal, as well. And I’ve been continuing my education ever since.
And I can’t tell you that I’ve healed my depression. That it’s not a part of me anymore. Because it definitely is. But it’s a part of me that I love and understand. And when it creeps in, it means that something is off and there’s a part of me that needs nurturing.
My sensitivity has become my superpower. It makes me good at what I do and it deepens my relationships with others. And I would have never honed this skill if it weren’t for my depression.
The healing journey is never over, because healing isn’t linear. There isn’t an endpoint we are trying to get to. We can only go deeper with our healing, continue to be in relationship with it, and use it as a powerful guide and teacher.
It’s been 15 years since my intentional healing journey began, and I love that I get to use what I’ve learned in my professional practice and help others embark on the magical, unpredictable, and fulfilling journey of coming home to themselves.
fun facts
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graduated from Massage school in 2007 and became a Registered Yoga Teacher in 2009.
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I have a BA in Creative Writing and have poetry and essays in various publications.
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Traveling to foreign lands is my all time favorite thing.
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Cuddling with my one year old goldendoodle, Juniper, is also my all time favorite thing.
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I'm based out of Fargo, North Dakota and live in an adorable 101 year old home with my husband and pup.
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Some people say I'm a singer/songwriter type, and you can hear my music HERE.
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I have a secret talent for eating all of the pasta. No noodle is safe.
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I plan on retiring in a tree house.