Well, here we are. The last post of our dear Self Love Series. And what a self-love journey it’s been!
To recap, the first week we talked about why it’s so vital to continually cultivate self-love. Then we took a stab at not only loving our self, but simply liking our self. We then moved into some more lighthearted fun and mused about the empowerment of dating yourself. Which now, leads us to today, and one of my favorite topics: tuning in to the love that is already around you.
In today’s culture, it seems we are constantly encouraged to focus on what we don’t have. You need this, you aren’t enough of that, you mean you aren’t married yet, why can’t you find a nice so and so, be sure to wear this hip brand so you can be accepted into this hip crowd of people, hustle harder, you get the idea.
Everywhere we look we are being judged and marketed to. At least those voices are the loudest, and it’s hard to compete with, especially for the soft and caring voice of self-love and the actual love we get from others.
As much as I want to say that I’ve cultivated my self-love on my merits alone, I can’t. I did and still do my work, but I don’t think I truly started loving myself until I opened up to and really received all of the love I already had around me.
You see, I had severe tunnel vision for only one kind of love, and that was romantic love. I craved it. I lived for it. And if it didn’t come from a certain person(s) of my choosing, I was convinced I was unloveable. Sure, I appreciated the love I got from my family and friends, but whatever. It wasn’t true love.
It took getting out of a four-year relationship to notice how dependent I had become on romantic love. I used it as daily validation and even an identifier of who I was. When I lost that, I felt so alone and useless and honestly, a bit pathetic. I mean, who was going to love me now?
And upon asking that question, I somehow managed to hear a tiny little nudge answer back saying, “Oh, sweet Randi. You have all of the love in the world.” And you know what? When I truly opened up to that idea, I found it to be completely true.
Love doesn’t always come into our lives how we want it to or how we think it should. But it is always there, and it comes in all forms. We take the constant, already present love for granted and focus on where it is lacking. And oftentimes, we take our stress out on those closest to us because they love us so much they will take it and be there for us no matter what.
I’m guilty of it, too, but what a foolish way to act. How lucky are we to have such love, and yet we push it away or don’t think it matters. Or we refuse it because we don’t think we deserve it. It’s silly when you think about it, really.
I invite you to take a moment to notice all of the love you have. Really feel it. Think of your family, your friends, teachers, co-workers, random people that share some kindness with you, your pets or other animals in your life, it’s even in nature. Think of those that show up for you in the best way that they know how. I promise that if you really felt the weight of how much you are loved, it would overwhelm your entire being.
Learning how to receive that external love can teach you how to receive your own self-love. And receiving your own self-love can help you receive the love of others. Isn’t it beautiful how that works? And especially if you are really struggling with this whole self-love thing, see how others love you and show up for you. It’s proof that you are worth loving. You are so worth loving.
Journal It Out:
1. Where do I feel the most love? Who is it from? What environment is it in?
2. Who do I show the most love or even give the most energy to?
3. Free write about if the answer to 1 and 2 are the same or different. Why is that?
4. What is a source of love that I commonly look over?
5. How can I notice and truly receive all of the love I actually have?
And with that, thank you for joining me on this journey to the center of self-love. It’s been so lovely to hear positive feedback from a lot of you. I know it’s been helpful and joyous for myself to keep the subject of self-love at the forefront.