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Self Love Series: How To Date Yourself

When was the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror, gave yourself a wink and asked, “How YOU doin’?” Maybe I’ve been taking too many notes from Joey Tribbiani, but my self-love challenge for you this week is to have a spot of fun by asking yourself out.

Yes, I mean taking yourself on a date every once in a while. I’m not talking about grabbing a quick lunch alone or binging on Netflix when you are bored. I’m talking about planning a nice period of time with yourself full of some of your favorite things. An evening of giving yourself exactly what you need without any expectations of anyone else. No pity parties for being single, no yearning for your partner to do something nice for you, but just doing your own thing just for kicks.

To recap for you new readers, the first week of this Self Love Series we covered the why of self-love, and last week we covered taking a look at not just loving, but even simply liking who you are.

So I thought it would be appropriate to now focus on having a bit of fun with it. And what’s more fun than dating?!!! (She asks sarcastically.)

No, I know dating can be fun at times, but the wonderful thing about dating yourself is that it really can be all fun with no awkward handholding or follow up texts.

If this idea sounds foreign or intimidating or even ridiculous, have no fear. I’ve created an easy six-step process for you.

1. Make a list, even if it’s a mental list, of things you love to do that you currently aren’t doing.

2. Think of why you aren’t doing them. What is getting in your way?

3. Pick out one or two things that have really lame excuses as to why you aren’t doing them, like I don’t have time or no one will do it with me.

4. If you need to, get over the idea that you need can’t do anything alone or people will think you are sad and lonely if you show up alone. It’s silly. You are still cool. In fact, you are even cooler for having the confidence to do things alone.

5. Ask yourself out, put it in your calendar, and start to prepare. Get a babysitter. Gather any supplies or movie tickets or whatever you need. Find a nice outfit. Take a shower, even.

6. Do the thing. Enjoy it. Have fun.

It’s that easy! Right? Right.

Ok, this sounds all well and good, but there is a lot of power in being able to date yourself. It can cultivate a glorious relationship with yourself that no one can mess with. That no matter what is going on with any other relationship, you know that you still have yourself.

It also makes you less dependent on those in your life to give you what you need. It can take some pressure off of those that already really love you. What we crave from others is more often than not what are really craving from ourselves.

I know that idea is a tough one, but sit with it for a moment or two. And try it out. Try giving yourself some attention that you really want from someone else (buy yourself some flowers, write yourself a love note, put some of your needs first). See what happens. See how that changes what you really want from that person.

It can also add some fun into your life that you may be lacking. You could meet some new people in the process. You could enrich your personal development in a delightful and fulfilling way. You could gain some clarity in an area you’ve been stuck in. The possibilities are endless!

But most importantly, it is a tangible action of self-love. It is showing up for yourself and communicating with a deep and precious part of yourself that YOU matter. YOU are worth showing up for. You get to show yourself how you want to be treated in the world, and it will also show others as a result. How empowering and amazing is that?!

Journal It Out:

1. How could I benefit from dating myself?

2. What stops me from taking time for myself?

3. What other relationships would be improved by giving myself the attention I crave?

4. What is one date I could take myself on this week?

I wish you luck on your dating endeavors and feel free to let me know how it goes! I love a good love story.


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